Creative Journey Blog
068 Creative Journey
by Charles on Mar.24, 2013, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 68th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
I keep hearing, “You can’t do that, you’ll offend someone!” Or, “You can’t say that, someone may get angry with you!” And my question is, “So?”
Now, before anyone thinks I’m being cold, callous, or un-caring allow me to expound. I’m not talking about doing things with the intent of being rude or offensive (being insulting, demeaning, or ‘pushing buttons’). Nor am I talking about social gaffs or accidental offenses made from a lack of understanding (asking about someone’s ex, without knowing she is an ex). I’m talking about being who you are. Living honestly, respectfully, and as tactfully as possible. If I am living this way, and someone gets offended by the actions these traits dictate, why should I care? Should I no longer be respectful? Should I no longer be honest? Should I no longer laugh at what I find humorous? Should I try and change who I am in order not to offend everyone I meet? And what if the things that offend one person are the opposite of what offends the next person, am I to be forever lost in a whirlpool effect of swirling around from one set of actions to the next simply based on whose company I am in? What if I am in the company of both, those who get offended at opposite things, how do I not offend someone?
If I am a good person and I have an idea that is different from someone else’s, say I disagree with a political view, a financial view, a moral view, etc. (the list of differences may well be longer than I have pages to write); when my views do not discriminate, do not inflict harm, do not seek to place myself in a position superior to anyone else, then why should someone become offended? Simply because they disagree with me? That does not seem to be a very mature view. I cannot help their lack of maturity. Maybe the need is for them to just grow up.
What makes this a difficult subject is that no one really wants to be offensive; that is respectful people do not. And if an offense is truly given, intentionally or not, apologies are normally forth coming. Yet it seems to me that, like the word hypocrisy, the idea of something being ‘offensive’ has been degraded to a mere tool, one used in stopping dissent and disagreement. Yes, a mere tool for controlling of the behavior of others. For who tends to say, “That’s offensive, stop?” Those who are open to discussion or those who want to avoid it? Mostly… those who want to avoid it.
Anyway… a point to ponder.
Live free my friends…
And live well.
Charles
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
067 Creative Journey
by Charles on Feb.04, 2013, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 67th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Hypocrisy:
Such a filthy word and today it is more weapon than word. One used to silence any opposition to what we want to do.
I was talking to a friend the other day and she was expressing great concern over her teenage daughters discovering drugs. She said she wanted to warn them, to tell them not to try them, and to tell them of the emptiness and pain they cause. But, because she had tried them when she was younger, she did not want to be a hypocrite. Yet she wanted to warn them… and was frustrated about what to do. This is a very real frustration and source of worry for her.
Who has not heard, “How dare you tell me not to do this? You HYPOCRITE!!!!!” And too often those are so bludgeoned, by that blunt and fell weapon, fall silent as quickly as if they had indeed been robbed of consciousness. We tend to accept the premise of this fraudulent attack and remain silent while the ones we want to help get hurt in ways… we may have helped prevent if we had but spoken out. We accept this premise (this fraudulent premise) as if it were truth, merely because we learned of the emptiness and harm through personal experience. That is why we buy into the ‘hypocrite’ bluff, because their behavior is something we have done… in the past. But those are the key words, “In the past.”
Perhaps a definition of hypocrisy would be good. Hypocrisy is: telling others not to do something WHILE you are still doing it. Or as found on Dictionary.com: a pretense of having some publicly approved attitude. Origin is from the Greek word for play-acting.
So to pretend that you think a behavior is wrong or harmful and yet participate in it… is hypocritical. And so, by definition, if you no longer participate, and you do find that behavior to be hurtful, you are not a hypocrite when you discourage that behavior in others. You are simply one who has learned a life lesson and wish to share that with those you care about. That is compassion.
Or to phrase it another way, would the recovering alcoholic by a hypocrite for warning kids not to start drinking games? Of course not. This person would be speaking from the personal knowledge of what alcohol can do, the pain abuse of alcohol can bring, and the bondage that this can produce in alcoholism. He is not saying, “Don’t do as I do, cause it is bad.” He is saying, “You don’t want to do what I have done in the past. You want a good life, and those games are the pathway to pain. They were, for me and many others. Please don’t make our mistake.” That is compassionate. Compassionate… not hypocritical.
When I shared this with my friend, it was as if she found release from a heavy burden. Frustration went away, she was free. And as far as I know, is having those difficult conversations with her kids. Oh, the conversations can still be difficult, but at least now they are happening.
My friends… be strong. See such accusations as the falsities they are. Find strength in compassion. The strength you need to realize that the past is the past; the present is what matters. And from this strength, find the boldness to express your compassion in the warnings others need to hear. I am assuming the point of the warning is compassionate and not controlling or manipulative in nature. Which is a discussion for another day. Until that day, be bold. Speak what you have learned compassionately and articulately.
Speak well my friends.
Speak well.
Charles
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
066 Creative Journey
by Charles on Jan.06, 2013, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 66th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
It has often been said that if you want to know who a person truly is, then simply watch how they handle the little things in life. Who a person is manifests itself in the little, seemingly non-important things of life. Things such as: does the person routinely interrupt conversations with out so much as an, excuse me? And do they then talk about whatever they want without regard to the topic of the current conversation? Does the person pick up after their pet when out in public areas, parks, or even a neighbors yard? Do they throw unwanted trash out the car window instead of taking it to a trashcan? Are they chronically late, for no good reason? Are they shoddy in parking the car and so take up two spaces instead of one? Is everything simply about having fun? Are the first words out of their mouth, everyone else does it?
“But,” you say. “These are really small things.” Exactly. And they are indicators of who a person truly is. Is the person a small petty person or a considerate one? Is the person dependable or unreliable? Can the person be trusted or not? These are all things that can be learned by watching how the small things are handled. If they do what is right, what is required, what is respectful, and what takes extra effort in the small things; then they have the character that will do them in the more important things. Or to state it another way, if a person does not have the character needed to handle the small things in life well, he does not have the character to handle the large ones well either. This is simply a fact of human behavior.
“So, are we to try and force people to do these small things well?” No. That would be stupid. Quite stupid. You never really change anything by merely removing a symptom. How little things are handled are mere symptoms, not the problem. It is similar to the symptom of pain when one has a broken bone. Painkillers can remove that symptom, the pain can be eliminated, but the problem, the cause of that symptom, is still there. The removal of the pain does not mend the broken bone. So too forcing people to fix the symptoms of poorly handling the little things does not make a person have the character to handle them well, it merely hides the poor character… for a little while. But the poor character is still there and will resurface shortly. The key is to develop character in people that is strong and courageous. For when this is done, the little things will be handled well – for they are only an indicator of who the person truly is.
No one is perfect, and everyone will handle the little things poorly from time to time. That is life, a part of being a human being. And it is possible to focus too much on the little things so that life gets bogged down always trying to do things “right”. Which will also be a negative experience. People perform the small things unconsciously, this is why they are a good indicator of who the person is; it is a true revealing of who they are. And do not take this as an invite to go and start pointing out the imperfections of others. But rather, this is an invite to observe yourself; to learn about your own character and to look for ways to help it grow.
Grow in peace.
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
065 Creative Journey
by Charles on Jan.03, 2013, under Creative Journey Blog
Welcome my friends,
Welcome to the 65th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
As most of you know, I have been in school finishing my degree. It has been a lot of hard work and a lot of fun. I don’t finish until this coming summer, but I am starting to figure some things out. And since this is a blog about the journey of this creative life, I wanted to share something I found today. This video is simply amazing. It spoke to me in a way that… I have been missing for quite some time. It is something I have heard before, and have heard frequently, but today… it was as if I was hearing it for the first time. Could my schooling have anything to do with that? Maybe. Anyway I hope you find this as inspiring as I have.
I know it obscures some of the right hand column on this page, but for this video, I cannot seem to make it fit without doing so. I hope that is not too much of a distraction. Sorry.
Enjoy.
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
064 Creative Journey
by Charles on Nov.08, 2012, under Creative Journey Blog
Welcome my friends,
As most of you know, I am back at school and finishing my degree work. Next summer I will have a B.S. degree. No bs I promise.
If you do not like what you currently do for money, I recommend going back to school and taking classes in a wide variety of subjects to discover something you like better.
I have discovered the world of archaeology. And I love it. Who knows, I may become an archaeologist. I like it that much.
Anyway, just wanted to touch base and let you know what has been happening with me.
I am considering how to best proceed here at the Eadarian network – whether to proceed in a different direction or shut it down permanently.
For my praying friends, please keep this in prayer. And for my non-praying ones, you well wishes would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much.
Until next time,
Charles
063 Creative Journey
by Charles on Oct.02, 2011, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 63rd installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Good vs Best Part 2:
It is interesting that the attainment of this smaller and instant fun often makes the child very unhappy with the results caused by that attainment. The joy he had in eating the cake is turned into a hurtful or sad memory, in light of what he then lost the ability to do. And even more interesting is the fact that if he had chosen to wait and not eat the cake, to not do that which is immediately satisfying but instead, wait for the best to arrive, then any unhappiness he experienced by not being able to eat the cake is quickly replaced, more than replaced, by the joy, excitement, and thrill of seeing the Giant Pandas. This joy dwarfs any frustration, ill ease, pain, or consternation that saying no to the chocolate might have caused. And this satisfaction will stay with him for years, he may even proudly tell his own kids and grandkids about thrill of seeing the amazing Pandas. The cake… is less than a forgotten memory.
In many ways our feelings are the same as the child who chooses the chocolate cake, opting to trade that which would truly make us happy for an immediate short-lived delight. And again we are not talking about right verses wrong, good verses evil, or anything like that. That is a discussion for another day.
There was nothing wrong with the child choosing to eat the chocolate cake, to get the cake instead of a trip to the zoo. Nothing wrong with it what so ever. But the good taste of chocolate satisfaction was the enemy of the best source of long lasting joy, seeing the wonderful Giant Pandas. Sad or not, it was an okay choice. Also, and I can’t stress this enough, we are not talking about not being satisfied, but of choosing and hanging onto the deeper and longer lasting sources of joy and satisfaction. The attainment of which is something… not to be missed.
Which does give a whole new (or at least a very interesting) spin to the both the “deny yourself” and the “self-sacrifice” thingies.
It is not about denying yourself joy and satisfaction but rather, that by learning what the deeper sources of joy are and choosing them, you deny yourself being cheated out of them by opting for the shallow and easy, the ‘good’ gratifications.
Yes, it will not always be fun to tell yourself, “No.” But remember, you are really telling yourself, “Yes!” Yes to the fuller, richer, more meaningful, and more abundant satisfaction and joy by waiting for the best. And, your lack of fun in the “No” will be more than made up for in the thrill found in the richer “Yes”.
Do not allow ‘the good’ to be the enemy that defeats you from knowing true joy, true happiness, and the deepest most wonderful satisfactions. In short do not let ‘the good’ keep you from the best.
Grow in peace.
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
062 Creative Journey
by Charles on Sep.29, 2011, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 62nd installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Good vs. Best Part 1:
It has been said that the enemy of the best is not the worst, but the good that is not good enough.
I know this is not what I thought this blog post would be about, but as this blog does reflect my thought process, it also turns and twists and changes more ever than so often, so hang on and enjoy the ride.
One of the greatest needs of our time is the rediscovery of the joy of postponed gratification, the rediscovery of the joy found in declining minor satisfactions for the receiving of greater, richer, and more intense ones; to reach and obtain the best for us and not settle for the mere good. And the merely good will always steal the best away from you if you let it.
For example…
The joy of sleeping in and not practicing long and hard will steal from you the joy of winning the big race.
The joy of one more candy bar will steal from you the joy of staying trim.
The joy of feeling warm and fuzzy about yourself all the time will steal from you the joy of self – improvement.
Notice this is about a choice of joys, of satisfactions. One choice will give greater and longer lasting gratification while the other gives briefer and less satisfying gratification. We are not here pitting wrong against right. None of the above would be considered “bad” or “morally reprehensible”. In all the choices, one does negate the other, but in and of themselves, they are not ‘wrong’ choices.
But the briefer and more immediate gratifications are the enemy of those we would truly enjoy the most, that would satisfy us the most. Kind of like…
The child, who being told that Giant Pandas were going to make an appearance at the local zoo for the up coming summer, spends the whole school year getting excited about seeing them. He reads all about Giant Pandas in the library, talks excitedly to friends about going, and even does extra chores around the house to earn some extra money to go.
Then one the day his folks can take him to the zoo, they stop at the child’s favorite restaurant to make an extra special day of this event. Everything goes well until the waiter brings the dessert tray, which has on it a giant chocolate cake. The child, in the exhilaration of the day, becomes very excited by the possibility of eating that large slice of chocolate yummy – ness. The only problem is that his folks only have enough money for the lunch and the ticket to the zoo, not for the added cost of the dessert or anything else. Times are hard after all. If the child gets the cake he will not have enough money to also get a ticket to the zoo and so after the cake he will be taken home and will miss out on seeing the Pandas.
The child, knowing this, but because of the elation of the moment, still chooses the cake, because it is here, now, immediate. All his summer planning is gone. The joy of seeing the Pandas is gone. Why? He chose a good that brought instant gratification over what really mattered most to him, over what would have brought him the most joy.
To be continued…
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
061 Creative Journey
by Charles on Sep.12, 2011, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 61st installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Taking a brief pause in preparing the newest topic for the Creative Journey to relate something I just read that is related to a previous entry. This goes back to Creative Journey entries 56, 57, and 58; the subject being Meek not mousy.
I found some incredibly precise and clear statements about Meekness that were just too cool not to share. These come from a book Broadman Press published in 1971, Creative Expectancy by Albert McClellan.
The man of meekness is firm without being hard.
He is shrewd but not wily.
He is strong but not destructive.
He is intelligent but not overbearing.
The man of meekness seeks no credit.
He listens intensely with the heart.
He asserts his love and even his ideas but not himself.
When in trouble the man of meekness does not run.
He does not create false issues or cast false images.
He is no prima donna.
He is not afraid of his enemies.
He never builds himself up at the expense of others.
He is never concerned with what he calls, “My rights.”
He makes no proud assertions.
He does not contemplate his own meekness.
He fights with words and ideas but not with doubts and slurs.
He defends himself with true spirit and an open attitude but not with the destruction of others.
He stands by his convictions and admires his enemies who stand by theirs.
He pitches his battle on fair ground; if he loses, he asks no quarter; if he wins, he helps bind up the wounds of his enemy.
None need fear losing anything to the man of meekness, neither purse, nor character, nor life.
He sits at the foot of the table until he is asked to come higher.
He goes to the bottom of the line and spells his way to the top, never boasting.
He is big enough to look any man in the eyes, but small enough so no man has to look up to him.
To some he looks like a zero, to others a world of hope, a world of wholeness, through whom the earth is about to be reborn.
This sums up rather well the idea of meekness. This is strength under control. I’ll even venture to say that this is the path to true freedom, but that can be a discussion for another day. 
Believe it or not that wraps things up for this entry,
Have a great one!
Grow in freedom;
Grow in peace.
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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If you liked this blog entry, check out the shirt designs based upon it. Just click here for: Meek not Mousy, here for: Bold, Daring, Meek, or here for: Meek and In Control at our cafepress store.
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
060 Creative Journey
by Charles on Aug.29, 2011, under Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 60th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Freedom not Chaos
Part 2:
An interesting thing about Chaos is that it only ever arrives through the use of our freedom; or, more appropriately, the misuse of it. The greater and longer the misuse, the greater the chaos we generate. Which is perhaps one of the greatest tragedies known to mankind, the loosing of one’s freedom to his own despotic self.
Who has not known of the one who has surrendered the freedom of rising above their situation to the escape and misery of the bottle? The freedom of growing in relationships to the justifications for explosive anger? The freedom of laughter to the bitterness of self-pity? This blog is not addressing the reasons, or situations that led us to the point of making these choices, to drink excessively, to always be very angry and bear grudges, or to wallow in self pity. It is addressing that the choosing of these is the choosing of chaos and not freedom.
Freedom only comes when we refuse to hide behind such things as the bottle, anger, and pity. This is not the easy way for no defensive walls are put up. Indeed, it is only when we are purposeful and very non-arbitrary in resolving whatever situation we are in, that the strength of freedom, the joy of freedom is earned and known.
The human being is an incredibly complicated critter. And so, before the big and apparent chaotic behaviors (like those listed above) arrive on the scene, there are many smaller occurrences of chaos that have arrived and these have built into the complex ones. And most great truths can be simply applied to all aspects of our lives, if we let them.
So let’s look at some of the smaller ways chaos enters our lives and by which freedom, while not completely dying, is stolen from us bit by bit. Sort of like the frog, when the temperature is gradually turned up on the pot of water he is sitting in, will not feel the temperature change, but will boil to death before he knows what is happening.
As the complex humans we are, we can hold many contradictory views, at the same time, and hold each as fact. Confusing? Yes and, since confusion is not Confucius, it is is a pathway to chaos. And yes, if we are honest with ourselves, most of us hold at least one set of these conflicting ideas.
Some such sets of simple contradictions are as follows: we want to get ahead at work and yet while at work, we want to sit around doing as little as possible, talking, playing games, or texting friends. We want to get ahead, the pay raise, the promotion, and we want to do all the things that lead to us not getting ahead. We want more money and more hours at work to get it, yet we also demand more time off. Or perhaps we want more friends, more social interactions, yet we also want others to show an interest in us first. Or, we want everyone to be courteous to us on the road, yet we feel no desire to give consideration to others while we drive.
I can see you shaking your head and saying, “Ok, now you are just being silly.”
Simple yes, silly… not.
I forget who said this, and if anyone can help with that please let me know for I’d love to give credit where credit is due, but it is said, “You can tell the most about a people by how the handle the little things.” For how you handle the little things will tell/show how you will handle the big things. And there are no approved shortcuts.
So the question is, are we responsible enough to choose the use of purposeful, voluntary, and independent self-decision to handle the little things of life well? To be non-arbitrary or non-despotic in pursuing our dreams, careers, relationships, and growing maturity? That I leave for you to decide. Be honest with your self; you might as well for you cannot trick chaos into being freedom. Chaos is chaos and it always will be. And experiencing the strength of integrity that freedom well lived brings should be missed by no one.
Grow well my friend,
Grow into your freedom well.
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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If you liked this blog entry, check out the shirt designs that support it. Just click here for design ‘Freedom not Chaos’, and here for design ‘Strong Enough to be Free’, at our cafepress store.
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
059 Creative Journey
by Charles on Aug.26, 2011, under Creative Journey, Creative Journey Blog
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 59th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Freedom not Chaos
Part 1:
Sometime ago there was a weekly quote here on the Eadarian Network (number 63), “You are only as free as you are responsible enough to be.” This from that wonderful sage and guru, the Eadarian Poet.
This train of thought then led me to another phrase that may well become a future quote of the week: “Freedom not Chaos”.
As I have begun to share this phrase with others, they have immediately thought that I am referring to politics. This I am not. I am only concerned with you and I as individuals. That is something to remember about this bolg, and I only share what I have experienced on my own journey.
So, to ensure understanding of what this post is addressing, I am talking about personal freedom verses personal chaos. Those, which reside in the individual and over which this same individual has control.
So what does all this mean? What does this look like? Let’s start with the thought, “You are only as free as you are responsible enough to be.” And see what develops.
I’m finding that the older dictionaries are quickly becoming my favorites. They seem to have a deeper range of meanings than most modern dictionaries do. In any event…
From the 1913 Webster Dictionary, Freedom: Exemption from necessity – as freedom of will –
From the 1913 Modern English Illustrated Dictionary: Not arbitrary or despotic.
From the 1955 Webster Dictionary: independent, self-deciding, voluntary.
For Chaos (from all the dictionaries): complete confusion or disorder
For Despotic: irresponsible and arbitrary, tyrannical.
So, freedom can be said to be: The responsible use of purposeful, voluntary, and independent self-decision to exercise our will in a non-arbitrary or despotic manner. A matter of the will, a matter of choice.
Chaos can be said to be: Complete confusion and disorder resulting from irresponsible and arbitrary uses of the will. The end results of which are tyrannical in nature stealing away our ability to be truly free. Our ability to exercise free will, to utilize any self-decision is lessened if not taken completely away.
To be continued….
Grow in freedom;
Grow in peace.
Charles Yerkes
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
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If you liked this blog entry, check out the shirt designs that support it. Just click here for design ‘Freedom not Chaos’, and here for design ‘Strong Enough to be Free’, at our cafepress store.
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To choose a past installment(s) of The Creative Journey click here. To view a Quote of the Week, click here.
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Worth Quoting
Never be so libelous as to call a man perfect; once a person is so labeled it is too easy to tear him apart for being what he is, a human being.
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