Tag: human being
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 66th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
It has often been said that if you want to know who a person truly is, then simply watch how they handle the little things in life. Who a person is manifests itself in the little, seemingly non-important things of life. Things such as: does the person routinely interrupt conversations with out so much as an, excuse me? And do they then talk about whatever they want without regard to the topic of the current conversation? Does the person pick up after their pet when out in public areas, parks, or even a neighbors yard? Do they throw unwanted trash out the car window instead of taking it to a trashcan? Are they chronically late, for no good reason? Are they shoddy in parking the car and so take up two spaces instead of one? Is everything simply about having fun? Are the first words out of their mouth, everyone else does it?
“But,” you say. “These are really small things.” Exactly. And they are indicators of who a person truly is. Is the person a small petty person or a considerate one? Is the person dependable or unreliable? Can the person be trusted or not? These are all things that can be learned by watching how the small things are handled. If they do what is right, what is required, what is respectful, and what takes extra effort in the small things; then they have the character that will do them in the more important things. Or to state it another way, if a person does not have the character needed to handle the small things in life well, he does not have the character to handle the large ones well either. This is simply a fact of human behavior.
“So, are we to try and force people to do these small things well?” No. That would be stupid. Quite stupid. You never really change anything by merely removing a symptom. How little things are handled are mere symptoms, not the problem. It is similar to the symptom of pain when one has a broken bone. Painkillers can remove that symptom, the pain can be eliminated, but the problem, the cause of that symptom, is still there. The removal of the pain does not mend the broken bone. So too forcing people to fix the symptoms of poorly handling the little things does not make a person have the character to handle them well, it merely hides the poor character… for a little while. But the poor character is still there and will resurface shortly. The key is to develop character in people that is strong and courageous. For when this is done, the little things will be handled well – for they are only an indicator of who the person truly is.
No one is perfect, and everyone will handle the little things poorly from time to time. That is life, a part of being a human being. And it is possible to focus too much on the little things so that life gets bogged down always trying to do things “right”. Which will also be a negative experience. People perform the small things unconsciously, this is why they are a good indicator of who the person is; it is a true revealing of who they are. And do not take this as an invite to go and start pointing out the imperfections of others. But rather, this is an invite to observe yourself; to learn about your own character and to look for ways to help it grow.
Grow in peace.
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player
Hello my friend,
Welcome to the 60th installment of The Creative Journey, the experience of one Charles Yerkes, Eadarian Poet, perpetuator, and otherwise mildly creative and excessively modest personage.
Freedom not Chaos
An interesting thing about Chaos is that it only ever arrives through the use of our freedom; or, more appropriately, the misuse of it. The greater and longer the misuse, the greater the chaos we generate. Which is perhaps one of the greatest tragedies known to mankind, the loosing of one’s freedom to his own despotic self.
Who has not known of the one who has surrendered the freedom of rising above their situation to the escape and misery of the bottle? The freedom of growing in relationships to the justifications for explosive anger? The freedom of laughter to the bitterness of self-pity? This blog is not addressing the reasons, or situations that led us to the point of making these choices, to drink excessively, to always be very angry and bear grudges, or to wallow in self pity. It is addressing that the choosing of these is the choosing of chaos and not freedom.
Freedom only comes when we refuse to hide behind such things as the bottle, anger, and pity. This is not the easy way for no defensive walls are put up. Indeed, it is only when we are purposeful and very non-arbitrary in resolving whatever situation we are in, that the strength of freedom, the joy of freedom is earned and known.
The human being is an incredibly complicated critter. And so, before the big and apparent chaotic behaviors (like those listed above) arrive on the scene, there are many smaller occurrences of chaos that have arrived and these have built into the complex ones. And most great truths can be simply applied to all aspects of our lives, if we let them.
So let’s look at some of the smaller ways chaos enters our lives and by which freedom, while not completely dying, is stolen from us bit by bit. Sort of like the frog, when the temperature is gradually turned up on the pot of water he is sitting in, will not feel the temperature change, but will boil to death before he knows what is happening.
As the complex humans we are, we can hold many contradictory views, at the same time, and hold each as fact. Confusing? Yes and, since confusion is not Confucius, it is is a pathway to chaos. And yes, if we are honest with ourselves, most of us hold at least one set of these conflicting ideas.
Some such sets of simple contradictions are as follows: we want to get ahead at work and yet while at work, we want to sit around doing as little as possible, talking, playing games, or texting friends. We want to get ahead, the pay raise, the promotion, and we want to do all the things that lead to us not getting ahead. We want more money and more hours at work to get it, yet we also demand more time off. Or perhaps we want more friends, more social interactions, yet we also want others to show an interest in us first. Or, we want everyone to be courteous to us on the road, yet we feel no desire to give consideration to others while we drive.
I can see you shaking your head and saying, “Ok, now you are just being silly.”
Simple yes, silly… not.
I forget who said this, and if anyone can help with that please let me know for I’d love to give credit where credit is due, but it is said, “You can tell the most about a people by how the handle the little things.” For how you handle the little things will tell/show how you will handle the big things. And there are no approved shortcuts.
So the question is, are we responsible enough to choose the use of purposeful, voluntary, and independent self-decision to handle the little things of life well? To be non-arbitrary or non-despotic in pursuing our dreams, careers, relationships, and growing maturity? That I leave for you to decide. Be honest with your self; you might as well for you cannot trick chaos into being freedom. Chaos is chaos and it always will be. And experiencing the strength of integrity that freedom well lived brings should be missed by no one.
Grow well my friend,
Grow into your freedom well.
Eadarian Poet, Perpetuator, Photographer, and Fiddle Player